Blade of Steel

I stand on the edge

Pondering all that I feel

Wondering how it all fell apart

Breaking up a loving heart.

As I stand, I raise the blade

Knowing I hold the fate of my life

In the hands of my sanity

And all of my mental calamity.

Looking at the blade, I see all the detail

Realizing how the maker gave attention

To each and every detailed line

Creating an intricate, complex design.

This is how my life has become

Where I am no longer able to be impromptu

But, I must have life in a plan

Always taking on more than I can.

This blade is bright with a silver shine

But in a few minutes it will tarnish

And that silver shine will have a red smear

As my life will be gone with no fear.

I lay the blade against my left wrist

Feeling the cold steel touching my skin

The edge is very sharp, like a new razor blade

For that edge will cause my life to fade.

I slowly move the blade across the wrist

Knowing that as it slides, the skin breaks

And I witness the stream of blood

That will soon become a river and flood.

I realize that one incision will not be enough

So as I slightly weaken, I turn the blade

Now getting ready to go from wrist to elbow

And when I am found, they will all know.

I take the blade up my arm, creating a "t"

And this B positive blood of mine

Flows freely from the newly exposed veins

And soon I will not feel these heartfelt pains.

I watch the blood ooze out before my eyes

And it is this sight that causes me to faint

For when I do, I know I will not awake

Proving this suicide attempt was not a fake.

Feeling my knees give out, I fall to the floor

Laying in the pool of blood I created

And as I close my eyes, I begin to cry

Because no one will know the true reason why.

My last thoughts are of love and compassion

Especially to the one I promised to love 'til my dying day

Now, I cannot love them the same way anymore

And to keep this promise is why I am now on the floor.

This person promised always to be here

However, they are no where to be found

So, as their promise to me has died